There's nothing like a wedding to make a girl want to get married too....

Congratulations, my friend. 永遠幸福唷～

Yesterday I took a day off and went to get a complete health check-up, the first I've done since those mandatory examinations we had to get each year in school. (My company paid for this, so yay!) The doctor took one look at the ultrasound image of my abdomen and announced that I have polycystic kidney disease (多囊腎). To tell the truth, I wasn't one bit surprised. It was just that I had waited so many years to finally summon the courage to go to a doctor, and have him tell me that to my face.

PKD is a genetic disease that's passed on from parent to child, and my mom has it, so of course there was a high chance that I would have it too. Genetic abnormality causes people like me to have kidneys that naturally develop as clusters of bubbles (cysts), and it's not hard to imagine how fragile these kidneys would be. For most people with PKD, the kidneys will gradually deteriorate starting from their twenties and lose their function by the time they reach their forties or fifties, when they will then need to get a kidney transplant or receive hemodialysis treatment for the rest of their lives. That is, if they don't die of kidney failure first. My mom was diagnosed when she was only 26, because one of her cysts burst and she was hospitalized for a month.

However, being diagnosed with PKD doesn't necessarily mean you're destined to die earlier, because as long as you strictly control your diet (no foods that are high in sodium or fat, and no alcohol... *sniff*) and avoid sleeping late, stressing out, and physical collision to your kidneys, there is a possibility that your kidneys can stay functional for a bit longer. My mom was told her kidneys would never last past her fortieth birthday, and she's made it to fifty-one already. One of my mom's parents must have PKD (otherwise who could she have inherited it from?!), but they're both now in their eighties and their kidneys are fine as ever and show no sign of renal dysfunction. Miracles do happen.

It's a strange feeling knowing that there are two unstable time bombs in my body (if one of the bubbles pop, I'm pretty much done for). But perhaps it's a blessing that I got to learn about it this early. Although knowledge is sometimes a burden, in this case it is key to my survival. Currently there is no cure for polycystic kidney disease, no drugs, no therapy of any sort, but who knows what the future of medical advancement may bring? If only I can keep my kidneys working for just long enough....

When I discussed my condition with my boyfriend, he immediately offered me one of his kidneys (how sweet of him), but while I was really touched, I don't think we'll ever need to come to this. I'm determined to stay healthy and stay alive for a long time to come. I want to grow old with him, have a nice house somewhere in a nice city, have a few cats (and maybe a dog only because he wants one), and just enjoy life.

From now on, I need to learn how to coexist in peace with my freaky polycystic kidneys. The doctor predicted that my kidneys would probably fail before I turn fifty (he says my left kidney is already showing signs of calcification... eww), but I'm gonna prove him wrong. Life can still be beautiful.

I can't believe it's October already. I can feel winter in the air, and in no time at all it will be Christmas and New Year's and 2009 will be over. How on earth did time pass by so quickly? I'm now in my second year at this job, and I haven't seen my boyfriend for almost a year. I'm surprised how we made it through this year...I thought long distance would be horrible but now when I think back it has been alright overall. That doesn't mean I like being separated, though.

It's funny, but time seems to fly once you pass the age of 25. I never used to worry about it, but recently I've been starting to think about how short life is, and about all the things I want to do before my time runs out and I no longer have a chance to do them anymore. The thought of spending even one more day apart from the person I love makes me sad, not to mention two more years. Sentiment appears to grow with age. In any case, I've made up my mind to use up all of my vacation days and go visit him before the end of this year. We've already let summer slip away.

Cost me a lot to finally learn this lesson:

Never go against your instincts because you'll definitely regret it in the end.

Now that I've released myself from this Abilene paradox, I feel only relief.


Time to start over.
This time, with 100% determination.